The Stunt I pulled today.

The Telengana issue has disrupted the life of the common man in Hyderabad. Just this month of July, I already saw two calls for general strikes (called ‘bandh’). Protestors shut down schools, colleges and disrupt public transport. They force commuters from going to their workplaces, and close down (or break) toll booths. Shops and institutions close down their doors, fearing riots. All this takes a toll on my business as well.

Take for example, my client Greta. A bride to be; needs her Bridal earrings for her wedding in 2 weeks time. Another client of mine: Caroline. Going away on vacation, so needs her parcel to reach her on time. How am I supposed to ship put their parcels, if there is constant agitation on the roads? In addition the Post Office keeps its shutters closed as well.

So today, when the lady behind the counter at the Post Office told me that they are closing up due to yet another ‘strike’, I lost it! Seriously! I pointed out that I took quite a risk in getting to the Post Office. Then I asked her very very politely if nothing could be done? For the sake of someone’s bridal jewelry? She said that the lady who sits on the computer (International Express Shipping) did not turn up (probably agitation on the road). I said that if she has the system up and running for me, I will weight out the parcels and print out the receipts myself.

So I went behind the counter, got the International SpeedPost System running and made sure that all of my 13 parcels went out today!!

Ah, the length at which we have to go to have things running in this country.

I think I will take my Darjeeling tea break now; after the stunt I pulled, I think I deserve it.

Satin Lace Seller

Me: "Hello? Is this ABC Lace Store? Is the owner Mr. XYZ there?"
XYZ: "This is Mr. XYZ."
Me: "Oh, hi there! Did the 3" satin lace I ordered in as yet? You said that it would be in within 2 days....if you remember?"
XYZ: "Oh yes, Madam, I remember. But I have not been coming to my shop for the last 20 days because I have been sick."
Me: (mentally) But I just saw you 4 days earlier and were perfectly hale and hearty!

Its been 4 months now and the lace never came in. I had to import the satin lace, a simple simple item, from USA.

Life in India.
100% true incident.

Heart in the Coffee

Hi darling, I got you your coffee.
- Oh, I see you did not stir my coffee?
[Takes spoon from my hand and briskly stirs the coffee]
Oh no!....you stirred away the heart...the heart!!!
- Huh? There was a heart in the coffee?

Car that runs on water

"Honey, we are building a new concept car at the University"
- "yeah?"
"Yeah....a car that runs on WATER!!"
- "Wow, isn't that great?"
"Yes, the idea is that the car will use water since that is so abundant".
- "Well, I will give you a car that runs on water. It is called a 'STEAM ENGINE'."
"Huh?"
- "Why do you guys want to reinvent the wheel??"
.
[Pause]
.
"Well, do you know how a steam engine runs?"
- "On steam"
"And how do you make the steam?"
(My DH is on professor-mode now)
"Do you know what the first law of thermodynamics says? It says....blah...blah...."
- zzzz.....zzzzz.....zzzzzz
"Oh Boy!!"
- zzzz.....zzzzz.....zzzzzz

Don't you have a HUSBAND?

I am on the balcony getting my towel. The neighbor and her kid, about 10 years old, is waiting down for the school bus to arrive.

"Hi Som Auntie!"
- "Hello darling! How are you?"
"Okay. Where is your baby?"
- "My baby? Hmmm....Oh! That is the Auntie from upstairs! She's had a new baby".
"Why don't YOU have a baby? Don't you have a HUSBAND???"
- {Speechless}

.

Tour of my Home - Free for ALL!!

This is when I just moved to India after staying in USA for years. My DH was off to his new job and I was alone at our newly-moved-in apartment. It was a pleasant morning. I was lounging on the sofa in my living room, with a cup of my favorite brew of tea watching CSI Miami on my new flat screen TV. I left the front door open to let in the beautiful soothing breeze from the East. What a blissful morning. Ah....

All of a sudden, three middle-aged ladies, reasonably well-dressed, appeared with a smile at my door and just sauntered in. I froze shock-still on my sofa, tea mug in my hand, my feet still up, mouth agape, wondering what the heck did just happen? The smiling ladies saw me, ignored me completely, and kept walking inside, towards my bedrooms, unfazed.

I jumped up and ran after them, yelling "Excuse me,...um...Auntie, do I know you?". They did not respond or stop; just kept walking through the dining room towards my Master bedroom. I was panicking by the second, completely bewildered. They 'seemed' harmless, but I did not take this complete invasion of my privacy lightly. So this time I yelled louder "Hey, where do you think you are going??" and stood my ground right in front of them. The three ladies stopped. They seemed to be noticing me for the first time. Then they just turned back, and went back the way they came in, and out of the front door, their smiles still in place.

I did not see the three ladies again. I don't know till date what they wanted, why they did not speak.....the entire episode weirded me out to be honest. And yes, you guessed it right, that was the end of my keeping the front door open to let in the beautiful soothing breeze from the East.

Pikola Net Connect

Tring....tring....
"Hello? Is this Pikola Net Connect?"
- "Yes, Madam, How may I assist you?"
"Your login/ logout page has disappeared, so I cannot access the internet any more"
- " We don't have a login/ logout page, Madam."
"Eh? I have been using the login/ logout page for the last 6 months to connect to the internet. That is the page where I put in my User name and password..."
- "We don't have any such page Madam".
"Maybe you call it something else? I logged in just this morning and now it is gone."
- " No Madam, Pikola Net Connect has no such page".
"How do people access the internet then? How did I get to the internet for the last 6 months?"
- " I don't know Madam, I am not saying that you are lying".
"What?? I sure hope not! Is there anyone else you can help me?"
- " I don't think so Madam".
"Please connect me to your Manager, maybe he can help me".
- "My Manager is not around Madam".
"Huh? Can he call me back?"
- "I will see what I can do."
"Look it is clear that you are not helping me here. I am paying my good money to access the internet and now I can't. Surely there is a tech assist team or someone who can help me?"
- "We can't help you Madam"
"Wow!! You can't help me, and you are not connecting me with someone who can? When will your manager call me back?"
- In 5 mins Madam.
"In 5 mins huh? Are you sure? I think no one will ever call me to resolve my matter".
- "Is there anything else I can assist you with?"
"You got to be kidding me!"
- "Have a great day, Madam"

Needless, to say I never got a call back from Pikola Net Connect, from the manager or anyone else. Its been 6 months. The login/ logout page mysteriously re-appeared after a couple of hours. They do call me every time my bill is due without fail, sometimes call me every hour with a reminder. Way to go Pikola!!

"Pikola Net Connect" does not exist, my sad internet connection company does, and so does their pathetic customer service.

Got Milk?

Some random guy at my door. "Yeah? What do you want?" ...."Milk".

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